Having sex before you are married is one of the worst sins ever. The urge to have sex is put into your heart directly by Satan himself.
murder and it is punishable by a stoning or being kicked out of the GOP. Drinking of the solution by the mother is considered abortion i.e.
#BIBLE THUMPER MEANING FULL#
The fundie dad jacks off in a cup full of holy water, soaks up the baby juice with the turkey baster and hands it to his fundie wife to do the rest as he is not allowed to look at her sinful whorish flesh. A more recent theory that has been proposed is the Semen in Turkey Baster theory. Unfortunately it is impossible to directly research this phenomenon as bible thumpers are fully convinced that the homo-protecting, Devilutionist scientists only want to eat their baby.
The Holy Spirit Impregnation hypothesis is the only current hypothesis remaining. Artificial insemination was proposed as a possibility, however this idea was also shot down quickly as it is a scientific procedure, and therefore of the devil. The sexual intercourse hypothesis was shot down quickly by the discovery that bible thumpers have no genitals. Since bible thumpers are incapable of sex, there has been a huge amount of scientific research investigating how bible thumpers manage to have children. When they turn 18 and turn to every form of pornography available and become sexual predators, well, I guess that's not their fault because they never learned anything about sex from them. This will turn their hearts evil and away from God. When bible thumpers raise a male child, it is extremely important that they never see a woman's naked body or sex of any kind. Christian parents will never mention the word sex around their children, because if they hear the word or have any sort of education about it, they will automatically do it with everyone in sight. Most bible thumpers insist that homosexual relationships are not natural (for example, Ted Haggard), even though over 500 species of animals (yes, the ones that God created) fuck each other in the ass all the time.īible thumpers view all forms of sex as evil. It is proposed that this is because bible thumpers are not capable of sex and bitter about it, since one of the immediate side-effects of becoming a bible thumper is Sudden Genital Disappearance. They feel that there is nothing more to a marriage than hetero-normative vaginal penetrative sex, which in most cases is more enjoyable for the male, because many thumpers will call a woman who enjoys sex too much a whore and a slut. They hate any leader who advocates gay marriage, feeling that it will remove what little meaning is left of their own fucked up marriages.
Many bible thumpers hold the idea that " God hates fags." The Old Testament God destroyed an entire city ( Sodom) for their evil ways of Anal Sex. However a thorough investigation of the bible reveals no verses relating to these topics.
#BIBLE THUMPER MEANING PRO#
Most of them vote republican and are pro-life and pro war because that's what the bible says.
#BIBLE THUMPER MEANING HOW TO#
They are either incapable of any rational thought, or have long ago forgotten how to use that portion of their brain in favor of accepting the doctrines that their parents shoved down their throats. A Bible Thumper is somebody who bases their entire life in a 2000 year old book of mythology called The Bible.
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